I guess losing your mother isn’t something that is bad, but can’t say it is good either. Its nature and God’s will that I guess she is to die. As you know, my mom and I never spoke, never talked or anything. When she did stuff to me that a mother wouldn’t do at age 7, I was taken away by my aunt. And my aunt would later died in Point Lobos on a dive about 5 years ago, I should have said, I wanted to go to the aquarium with her because her work at NASA just got so overwhelming that 3 hours of sleep was enough to impair on their concentration. It may have prevented her from drowing, but then, it was her time to go one way or another. Since my aunt and grandma was so protective of me, I never saw my mom until I was 26, just four years ago and relations between me and her got worst and she moved away. There was abusive verbals but I will not give anymore details. Anyways, I made my peace with my mother and it is best to continue. Before she died, I told her I never hold any anger against her for what she did to me, and she said she will meet me at the stars in the heaven and left. I will do that when I leave the earth.