Dive Boat Dreams
By Bob Halstead It would be a perfect life; I love diving, love being on boats and love adventure. I had moved to Papua New Guinea in 1973, already an experienced NAUI instructor, discovered that very few had dived PNG’s reefs, and that there was no established tourist dive industry. When the opportunity arose I quit my teaching job and started a dive school and shop in Port Moresby with my wife Dinah. We got a bank loan and had a 20-diver day dive boat built for us. This is Solatai and we used ...
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Global Fawning
By Bob Halstead Enough is enough. The environmental doomsayers are way out of control. The last time I dived the Great Barrier Reef, October 2006, the water was freezing. Frankly, I could have done with a bit of Global Warming. Then, through a serious error of judgement, I went to see Al Gore’s movie. It is really boring but I amused myself by seeing how low he could pitch his voice before it cracked. I think there was one joke put there to show he is human, but it was not funny so I am still no...
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Claustrophobia
By Bob Halstead Perhaps you’ve noticed? While discussing our beloved sport of scuba diving, some of the uninitiated will pre-empt any possibility of experiencing nirvana by stating that they could not possibly learn scuba diving, as they suffer from claustrophobia. They will already have asked “How deep have you dived?” and “ Have you seen a shark?” and you will have no doubt wasted 30 minutes or so explaining that no one has to dive one inch deeper than they want, but deep diving is awfully goo...
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If You Can’t Take a Joke Don’t Take Up Underwater Photography
By Bob Halstead Some thoughts on taking underwater photographs with helpful hints for the innocent. It is all very wonderful to see beautiful underwater photographs published in Dive Magazines, but it is about time someone confessed! Some of the younger readers might not understand the suffering and sacrifices necessary to get those images, and end up with entirely the wrong idea. I’ve seen grown men cry. I’ve seen others, in a frenzy of frustration and rage, smashing their cameras and strobes o...
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Diving is Adventure - A philosophy for divers.
(Dear Reader, “risk” and “danger” are not the same thing though they are often confused by authorities in the name of Safety. Really they just want to restrict your adventure. Many adventures are “Passive” – like taking a balloon ride where your safety depends on the integrity of the balloon and the skills of the pilot. This analysis concerns “Active” adventures where the adventurer actively participates in ensuring his/her own safety … now read on ..) By Bob Halstead Diving is not amusing nor f...
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Assume the Risk and Take the Blame
By Bob Halstead I am not fond of flying. As I strap myself in my seat my usually serene mental state is disturbed by niggling doubts:- will the wings fall off? did the pilot look drunk? why are the ground crew kicking the tires? Only by serious mental discipline can I overcome this paranoia and resign myself to my fate. Resisting the temptation to ask the hostess about the suspicious parcel just placed in the overhead locker above my head, I buckle up and shut up. At the back of my mind the blac...
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A Quiz on the Buddy System
By Bob Halstead This is a little quiz to get divers to think about the Buddy System. Most instructor organizations are locked into the buddy system but my observation is that many would ditch the system if it were not for liability concerns, and that many experienced divers treat it with contempt. You should make up your own mind, and always dive in your own comfort zone. First, I am going to give my definition of the buddy system. I wrote it many years ago because I could not find a definition ...
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The Noisy World
By Bob Halstead America has a coral barrier reef off the Florida Keys. While this is no challenge to Australia’s Great Barrier Reef, it does have something Australia does not. For the past 25 years, hundreds of divers and snorkellers have come together for the annual Underwater Music Festival held at Looe Key Reef. Musician-divers mime on whimsical instruments created by a local artist, while a pre-selected radio playlist is streamed live from underwater speakers. Ocean-themed songs, such as the...
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The Magic Touch
By Bob Halstead I am going to start this story where it hurts. On a deep dive to search for a rare fish, I spotted an unusual sea star. I picked it up and carried it to shallow water so that I could leisurely take photographs while decompressing. It had no spines, but I soon realised that it was stinging me. The stinging cells were able to penetrate the tough skin on my hands. I have never been able to get the sea star identified, but that sting hurt, and the pain lasted nearly a week. There is ...
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The Job is Yours!
By Bob Halstead Over the years, while operating our live-aboard dive boat, we had to face the challenge of recruiting good staff. I have come to realise that, as a veteran in the dive business, there is a service that I can now provide to both job seekers and boat operators: I can write testimonials for up and coming divers that the operator can trust. We had plenty of applicants for jobs on our boat – but often the applicants’ claims were exaggerated or irrelevant. Only a few could I really res...
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The Dori Awards
By Bob Halstead Dori is a lovely, bubbly lady, an enthusiast at everything she does. She is part of a terrific group of divers brought, by Kevin Deacon of Dive 2000 Sydney, to dive with us in PNG. Dori is about to enter the water for another wonderful dive – the only kind of dive she ever has. She lines up behind her buddy who makes a perfect entry off the high platform into the water more than one metre below. Her friends, still gearing up, wish her whale sharks and manta rays. She steps to the...
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Teaching Diving
By Bob Halstead Qualifying as a NAUI diving instructor in the Bahamas in 1970 was a revelation. My previous life was quite ordinary, but the course inspired me to adventure and self-fulfilment. I can now look back on many marvellous moments diving, and many dealing with the strange and wonderful people that, one way or other, I have taught to dive. My favourite students have always been those that, like myself, are totally fascinated by the sea and its creatures. The motivation is so strong that...
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Spring is Here Again - Cairns Australia
By Bob Halstead October in Cairns is magnificent. The South-East trade winds loose their sting, the sky clears and is so blue that looking out over the beaches the sea looks sparkling and clear and blue too. Fooled by all this, I went for a swim with some friends off Trinity Beach, one of Cairns’ Northern Beaches. We had a barbeque on one of the excellent free council barbeques, did not illegally consume a bottle or three of pink sparkling wine in a public place, and got wet. Along the beach the...
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Speak Up!
By Bob Halstead Most married men understand selective deafness. This is attained by training over many years to automatically tune out sentences with the words “washing up”, “garbage”, “shopping” and so on, and tune in to sentences with words such as “dinner”, “wine”, “sex” etc. Long serving devotees can become quite expert, tuning in to “Dinner is ready” but out to “help with dinner” or “go out to dinner” or ”clean up after dinner”. It is important that women understand that this is actual, rea...
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Ship of Fools
By Bob Halstead It is said that there is one on every cruise. The diver that does not fit in, behaves selfishly, and generally stuffs up the cruise for the other guests. When operating Telita I had a policy of taking the offending character aside for a friendly private chat pointing out that I was getting complaints about his/her behaviour and asking if they could perhaps be a little more considerate. That was when I still had patience. Evolution transformed my private chat into a public dining ...
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Sex in the Workplace
By Bob Halstead (1993) Yesterday, after my wife beat me over the head with an old snorkel for dripping salt water on the new carpet, I got to thinking about the liberated woman (wopersyn?) and the role of the housewife in the 1990’s. Pretty soon I was thinking about sex, which is a weakness of mine and seems to happen every time I think about women. Anyway, suddenly, it struck me – that is an idea, not the snorkel again – there is a gigantic loophole in the Health and Safety in the Workplace leg...
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Scrambled Brains
A previously un-documented diving phenomenon By Bob Halstead I am revealing here, for the very first time, a diving phenomenon often experienced but seldom reported, one which will require diving manuals and medical texts be revised. It happens at the very start of your dive adventure. Just as you relax and get used to a new state of consciousness; you get scrambled brains. Let me explain. Your overseas dive adventure is a big event, one you have been looking forward to for some time. As the tim...
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Rules for Snorkelling
Barry Andrewatha, Editor, Dive Log PO Box 167 Narre Warren, Vic. 3805 July 1996 Dear Barry, I have just received my copy of the new Queensland Division of Workplace Health and Safety Draft Advisory Standard for Recreational Snorkelling at a Workplace of June 1996. QDWH&SDASRSWJ96 for short. There are some exciting and innovative ideas in this incredible document that I just have to share with you and your readers. You see, in my ignorance, I thought the back of the toilet door was for the Playbo...
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Rule the World
By Bob Halstead Why is it that we have to have so many rules and regulations in Australia? Someone once said (I think it was me) that the reason had to do with the first English immigrants being either criminal or stupid. But, trouble is, once Governments get into the habit of legislating, there is no stopping them, even in the face of evidence that no benefit occurs and that unintended consequences are mostly negative. Divers would do well to remember that the Lonergans died while the Queenslan...
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Rocket Science and Divers with a Limp
By Bob Halstead A few years ago I witnessed the launch of a Polaris submarine missile from underwater. At least that is what I thought it was at the time. There was the terrifying noise of exploding gasses and a dark shape whizzed past me shooting for the surface. A short time later there was a massive splash, that I could feel as well as hear, signalling that the launch had failed, and the missile had fallen back into the sea. Turns out it was just a diver successfully putting some air into his...
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