I think I may just give up on buddy diving. It seems that the way I was taught to buddy dive 15 years ago hasn’t been taught in a long time. I have a couple of other lifestyle choices and hobbies (licensed to carry a concealed weapon and wilderness survival) that force you to be 100% responsible for yourself 100% of the time and also demand keen situational awareness and that you have practiced/rehearsed/prepared for the worst. I think this is a philosophy I could carry over to diving by 1.) working on my basic water comfort and skills by having a lot of pool and ocean swimming time 2.) working on my basic SCUBA skills in the pool under the supervision of my husband, who doesn’t "do" buddy diving (partially because he is foolish and partially because he has excellent in-water comfort and skills) I can horizontal-CESA, mask remove and clear, don-and-doff my rig, and regulator recover quite happily by myself and he can fish me out if I actually needed it, which I should not 3.) take a solo diving course and then I can just dive with my husband as a nice together activitity but not as a "buddy team" and we will basically be in the water at the same time to use each other as a back-up air source in case of catastrophic gear malfunction/evacuation to the surface in case of random unconsciousness.