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LOL. This is really funny
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When the instructor gives you the stay together signal cross your legs.
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Put your tank on your bc upside down and run the reg hose between you legs.
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Use a keg of beer as a dive flag float.
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Bring a blowup doll and tell the instructor that you wont need him as a buddy because it works as a dive buddy and an alternate air source.
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"Spit in your wet suit and pee in your mask" Spitting in the instructors or DM’s mask is a good way to end the class or dive trip too!
Better pay attention in class, you can no longer get a c-card from StupidDiver.com, their site is gone :(
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Eve - 12/08/2012 5:30 PM 
I like the comment from Progrower on bringing a blowup doll, kills 2 birds with one stone. : )
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-Using 24 lbs of styrofoam for weight!
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Greg - 12/11/2012 6:20 PM
From Green_Achers: -Using 24 lbs of styrofoam for weight!... Considering that 24 lbs of styrofoam is over 30 cubic feet in volume, you will be over 1900 lbs more lbs buoyant in salt water. That’s one heck of a life vest.
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I think the block of styro w/1900 lb buoyancy is called a "vessel"!
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When instructed to remove your mask and continue to breathe through your regulator, suck water in through your nose, panic, thrash around and hit your assigned dive partner in the head with your tank.
My daughter’s assigned dive partner did this on their final dive.
(notice the presence of the word "Assigned" and the absence of the word "Buddy")
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soo funny, hog your buddy tight
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Complaining to your instructor that 3000 lbs of air is impossible to pick up!
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when the instructor is demonstrating the tired diver swim (foot on shoulder method) using you as the tired diver tell him im sorry im cold then pee
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I’m so glad I joined dive buddy. Where else would some one want to pee in my mask?!?!?! Lol
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Put your first stage on your K valve backwards with the screw going into the air orfice. I have seen that too many times at the pool.
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During dive reach over and turn off instructors air then give the OOA signal to him/her
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